


Fucking Bourbon, Fucking Hotel, Fucking Rings, Fucking...   Hey Wait, Are We Married?????

by ReapersAngel



Category: NCIS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Marriage, Boys Kissing, Disclaimer: Credits to NCIS, Drunkenness, Family, Family Feels, Gibbs would not survive the kids, Gun?, How Do I Tag, Inspired by Spoodlemonkey's "A Tequila Sunrise Over Us", Kissing, M/M, Please tell me if I missed anything, Rated Teen for Language and Drunkness, Team as Family, Woke Up Married, commitment issues, drunk marriage, hangovers, so uh, sort of flashback
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:16:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27700576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ReapersAngel/pseuds/ReapersAngel
Summary: The Tony/Gibbs take on Spoodlemonkey's "A Tequila Sunrise Over Us".Tony and Gibbs also wake up married. Seriously.
Relationships: Anthony DiNozzo/Jethro Gibbs, The Gibbs Team - Relationship, The MCRT Team, The NCIS Team
Comments: 6
Kudos: 78





	Fucking Bourbon, Fucking Hotel, Fucking Rings, Fucking...   Hey Wait, Are We Married?????

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Tequila Sunrise Over Us](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10055651) by [Spoodlemonkey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spoodlemonkey/pseuds/Spoodlemonkey). 



> If you've been reading my other works and noticed the dates and thought _Why are they posting so much??? _it's because I've been procrastinating so I'm getting all that I can up today. Yay...__

“Ugh…”

Tony groaned, propping himself up on his elbow. His head felt like it had been used as a drum - _forcefully_ , _very_ _forcefully_ \- and all of his limbs felt like overcooked noodles. He desperately wanted to get the hellish taste out of his mouth.

After a few moments of cataloguing what he was feeling he started calculating his surroundings. Definitely not kidnapped, although he had no memory of whatever had happened. So, probably he’d gotten drunk. Very drunk.

He was in a bed - hotel, probably, judging from the furniture and decor. Non-scratchy sheets, which was good. The bed he was on was against the wall, door to his right and windows to his left. He pushed himself upright.

There was a nightstand on the side of the bed closer to the door, with a lamp and a digital alarm clock on it. Tony groaned -  _ five in the morning _ . His internal clock was so screwy.

There was also a lump under the blankets besides him on the right. Tony was tempted to think it was a lump of blankets or a pillow or something, and really wanted to poke it. He-

The alarm clock on the nightstand chose that moment to go off, for  _ no reason whatsoever _ \- and Tony dove over the lump to silence it. The lump, however, reacted.

By  _ fucking shooting up  _ and hitting him in the chest, sending him tumbling backwards.

“Gun?” A voice said confusedly. A voice Tony recognized.

“Hi, Boss,” He said weakly.

“DiNozzo?” Gibbs twisted himself, squinting blearily at him. “Where’s my gun?”

“No idea,” Tony said.

“Oh.” Gibbs frowned at him. “Get the clock?”

“ ‘Course, Boss,” Tony said. “Just-” He made a vaguely-looking  _ scoot _ motion. Gibbs rolled his eyes and slammed a fist down on the blasted thing himself. Tony sighed in relief and let his head fall onto the sheets.

There was a moment while Gibbs surveyed their room. “Why hotel?” He asked. It seemed they were regressing to few words and incorrect grammar.

“Dunno,” He said. He lifted his head and then frowned - Gibbs’ hands were clutching the blankets around his shoulders like a cloak, but that wasn’t what had drawn his attention. He crawled over and grabbed Gibbs’ hand.

“Ow!” Gibbs glared at him. “DiNozzo!”

Tony ignored him and examined Gibbs’ hand in disbelief. Gibbs tried to tug it away, but then seemed to realize that something was off. He looked down at his hand and made a slightly-alarmed sound.

Tony just kept staring. There was a gold band on Gibbs’ ring finger with tiny little green gemstones. They were really, really tiny, but Tony would bet everything he had that it still wasn’t Gibbs’ first choice of wedding ring, since that’s what it had to be. Despite his very  _ clear _ memories of GIbbs not having been married yesterday.

Gibbs made another - this time more alarmed, he was getting Tony worried - and yanked his hand up. Tony yelped and nearly fell forward onto his face. He looked up at Gibbs angrily. “What was that for?!”

Gibbs shook his head mutely and showed Tony his own hand. He balked at the silver band on his finger inlaid with tiny blue gemstones.

“Hi, husband,” Gibbs said.

In that moment, Tony had never wanted to deck someone more.

* * *

“I just don’t get it!” Tony said, a little hysterically, “Why would  _ we _ , of all people, get  _ drunk-married _ ?! It doesn’t make any sense! I mean, I have commitment issues, and you have completely  _ opposite _ commitment issues, and-”

“Whoa, DiNozzo, hold up-”

“-and what about Ziva and McGee and Abby and Ducky-” He made a cut-off squeak, “- _ oh my god _ , what about  _ Ziva _ and  _ McGee _ and  _ Abby _ and  _ Ducky _ -”

“Tony!” Gibbs shouted. Tony stopped rambling as he turned to glare at him. There was probably a crazed, rabid look in his eyes, but he was already calming down at the familiarity of Gibbs glaring at him - even if the sight of him in jeans with his silver hair damp and a towel thrown over his head was almost alien. He swallowed.

“Yes, Boss?” He said meekly.

Gibbs stood up from his place on the bed and strode to where Tony had been pacing and rambling to himself for what felt like half an hour. He slapped his hands over his cheeks. “I’m sure the team are fine,” He reasoned. “We’ll head into the office and I’m sure they’ll all be there.”

Tony nodded, seeing the rational side to that as he inhaled and exhaled. Besides, Gibbs’ hands felt nice on his face and the towel still on his head was downright  _ hilarious _ .

“Now, for the marriage thing,” Gibbs continued, and Tony felt himself tense right back up. After a bit of pretty redundant searching they’d found their marriage certificate taped to the window: apparently, drunk them had wanted the whole world to know of their union. Hopefully, no one could read it from three floors up.

“We can get an annulment if you like,” Gibbs said, “Or we can stay married.” With a wry look, he added, “Tax benefits.”

“Marriage,” Tony said, testing the word out, “Husband. Ring. Wedding-”

“Hold up DiNozzo, stop being so cheeky,” Gibbs said, gently pinching his cheeks for emphasis.

“Married,” Tony said. He grinned. “Do you think you can handle it, Boss?”

* * *

“...And that was the story Tony had spilled once when I’d gotten him drunk,” McGee finished, “So even though none of us saw the wedding - or  _ remember _ seeing it - ten years ago, somehow we’re all here to watch them renew their vows.” He grinned. “Tony told me they started dating officially a year and a half after their drunk marriage, did you know?”

Tony groaned as the rest of the team cheered, wanting to faceplant himself in the table. He regretted every time he and McGee had ever gone out drinking. Probie was so deceptively  _ not a lightweight _ . Gibbs rubbed circles into his back sympathetically.

“Kill me now, Jet,” He groaned.

“That’d leave me with the kids, sweetheart,” Gibbs said soothingly, “You can’t do that, we both know I wouldn’t survive a minute.”

Tony raised his eyes from his plate long enough to see McGee gleefully launch into another story that had Abby clapping her hands and Ziva snickering while Ducky and Palmer watched on in amusement. He groaned again. “How did they bully us into holding a celebration dinner?”

“Ten years and a vow renewal,” Gibbs said wryly, “There was no way they weren’t.”

“I so regret proposing or saying yes or whatever we did.”

“No you don’t,” Gibbs said mildly. 

“No I don’t,” He agreed. “McGee’ll never let this go, huh.”

“No, he won’t, honey,” Gibbs said.

“Ugh,” Tony said. He lifted his head long enough to make sure no one was watching, then leaned over and kissed Gibbs. 

He imagined their wedding kiss must have felt the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Really tried to keep up the ~aesthetic~ alcohol titles but as someone who literally did not even know beer was sparkling (who does???) until somewhat recently, I failed. Besides, these two are not that fancy. They probably just got drunk off of bourbon (hence that part of the totally unimagintive title) in Gibbs' basement, yada yada yada proposal blah blah blah bought rings, and got drunk-married. I headcanon that they're mostly pretty coherent drunks, so the ACTUAL officiants and witnesses *side-eyes Eric and the LA Team* who were NOT drunk mostly took whatever drunkeness that spilled over as sappiness and jitters.
> 
> Comments and kudos appreciated!


End file.
